Isabelle's FIRST birthday!

How to start this post? So much going on, and to be frank, so many bittersweet feelings about the whole celebration. It has been a year since our lives changed so completely with the arrival of a tiny 5 pound, twelve ounce little package of sweetness that was Isabelle.

I had a great pregnancy, enjoyed most of the entire 8.75 months, and then quite an easy time of the birthing process. I was induced at around 11pm on the night of the 15th, and she was born at 9:06am on the morning of the 16th. I pushed for all of 15 minutes and there she was, in all of her glory. A perfect 10 on the apgar and away we went. From the very beginning, I was completely in awe of the fact that Gilles and I had created this little bit of perfection, and she has not disapointed us in any way over the past 12 months. She is sweet, cute, funny, bright and happy. I, who had thought to be bored after a few months of mommydom, and ready to return to work, have become paralyzed at the thought that I will have to leave her to return to my job. No more mornings spent with sunshine, no matter the weather. No more naptimes of cuddling and breathing in her sweet scent. No more afternoons of walking, and shopping and playing together. Just a few hours every evening and the five day waiting period for a weekend when she will be ours, and only ours again. Gilles and I have not had quiet dinners out, or even gone to the movies since she was born. I don't regret this (although perhaps the coming changes would be easier for her if we had). If we are to have but this one time in our lives when it will be just us, then I am happy that we have spent all of this time together, making sure we get to see all of her first experiences, helping her grow into the little toddler we have right now.

Isabelle and I have travelled the country, seen and experienced so much together and spent so much time with our family that I could never wish any of the time back. We have truly made the absolute most of this year, and I think she is the better for it. I know we are. She has made me patient beyond my expectation, happy with the simplest things experienced together, blessed beyond my wildest dreams. She is our first thought every morning, and last thought every night. She is the reason for everything. I had no idea just what motherhood would truly mean. Now I can't imagine life without her.

How to tell her how she has changed our lives? How to tell her how blessed we have been to spend so much time together over the past year? Perhaps this blog will be a start. All I know for sure is this. If we are but the sum of all of our life's experiences, than I am so RICH for having had the opportunity to be with her day in, and day out, for a year now. So happy to just be her Mom.

More on the week long celebration with family and photos shortly.